Federal and state workplaces are closed, each main retailer’s acquired an equipment sale on, and no one actually is aware of why — ah, sure it’s President’s Day. With this being an election 12 months that’s completely not going to be an abject shit present involving two insanely outdated white dudes, we determined to think about an alternate situation the place all the historic leaders of the free world had been into steel.
Remember the fact that the political beliefs of the presidents and the bands they like might not align, however it’s not all about politics, proper? Separate the artist’s politics from the artwork and whatnot. So take a second and study which president you’d possible jam out with.
George Washington
We begin with the O.G. If this George Washington had been a metalhead, you understand he’d be all in regards to the style’s founding fathers as a result of he was there in the beginning. He could also be an elder statesman within the pit, however you wager your ass he’ll have some superior tales about seeing Led Zeppelin, Blue Öyster Cult, or Deep Purple in live performance. He’s been following Judas Priest because the early 70s and is aware of far more of Steppenwolf’s catalog than “Born to Be Wild.”
Thomas Jefferson
Because the creator of the Declaration of Independence, our second president is a pure wordsmith. With that in thoughts, he appreciates a band with a complicated vocabulary and an in depth information of literature. You’ll be able to catch him lounging on a swivel chair jamming out to Clutch, Blind Guardian, and Rush to call a number of laborious rock and steel bands he’d have on rotation.
Andrew Jackson
Born within the American south, our seventh president Andrew Jackson is a southern steel/groove steel devotee. Dude simply lives for the riff, so naturally he’s a giant Pantera fan. After spending a whole lot of time in Louisiana throughout the Battle of 1812, he discovered much more steel down within the bayou. In consequence, you may frequently see him sporting a Goatwhore, Exhorder, or Eyehategod shirt.
Franklin Pierce
Very like his time in workplace, 14th president Franklin Pierce frequently tells anybody inside earshot that you just wouldn’t know a lot in regards to the bands he enjoys. He tends to say actual gatekeeper-y, elitist shit like “oh, they’re an underground band, you wouldn’t know them” with a smug air about him. However that’s as a result of he’s simply tremendous racist, hates that slavery was abolished, and is definitely tremendous into Burzum and NSBM.
Abraham Lincoln
Recognized all through historical past as the person that reunified the nation following the Civil Battle, in addition to the president that ushered ultimately of slavery as our sixteenth president, Abraham Lincoln’s steel tastes are a little bit diversified. On one hand, he’s an enormous fan of bands that talk to the African-American expertise, so Fever 333, Physique Rely, and Zeal & Ardor are on repeat. He additionally likes a very good reunion, so he can’t assist however jam out to KISS, Creed, and Dream Theater sometimes.
Teddy Roosevelt
Ever the fan of nature and its conservation, twenty sixth prez Theodore Roosevelt would naturally be a black steel fan. That being stated, he’d be far more into North American black steel, so Panopticon, Wolves In The Throne Room, and Agalloch are on heavy rotation. He’s additionally a giant Blackbraid fan, which is sensible since he served with Native Individuals within the Tough Riders throughout the Spanish-American Battle.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Ever the fan of army historical past, our thirty sixth president Dwight D. Eisenhower is a giant fan of epic sounding steel that offers with conquest and victory. Positive, he was fearful in regards to the army industrial advanced, however he can’t assist however jam out to Iron Maiden, Manowar, Sabaton, Ex Deo, and bands in that vein.
Ronald Reagan
Thought-about by many to be the president that ushered trendy conservatism and its give attention to “Christian household values” to the very best halls of energy, America’s fortieth president Ronald Reagan has an iffy connection to steel. That being stated, he naturally likes Stryper, Norma Jean, and Phinehas as a result of he sees them as a approach to pull different metalheads again from Devil’s clutches.
Invoice Clinton
There’s no approach to mince phrases right here. Invoice Clinton needed to have been an enormous social gathering bro in his youth, so he likes any an all bands that prioritize having a very good time with sizzling chicks above anything. So meaning he’s acquired hair steel on repeat always. One in all his favourite pastimes is attending Metal Panther concert events as a result of they discuss fuckin’ and you’ve got an actual good likelihood to see some titties.
George W. Bush
Although their political ideologies are completely different, George W. Bush shares comparable tastes in steel with Invoice Clinton, however for various causes. Whereas Slick Willie is on the market listening to steel about getting some stanky on his hangdown, G. Dub loves his 80s hair steel as a result of it reminds him of his cocaine cowboy days. Throw on some Poison and America’s forty third president is liable to start out trying to find a bump.
Barack Obama
As America’s first African-American president, Barack Obama’s an enormous fan of each Rage Towards The Machine for his or her political stances in opposition to racial injustice and Physique Rely as a result of come on — Ice T’s the frontman. And whereas he’s gotten into Fever 333 and appreciated the steel meets hip-hop sound of nu-metal, he started branching out to completely different steel genres close to the top of his second time period. Today, you’re simply as prone to discover Kids of Bodom, Amorphis, and Horna on his playlist after commending Finland for his or her ties to steel.
Donald Trump
Although he could also be one of the controversial and divisive presidents in American historical past, however Donald Trump’s tastes are least prone to rock the boat as a result of he solely likes tremendous fashionable, profitable, and rich bands. He additionally actually digs Child Rock and Ted Nugent. And he’s a very large fan of Tim Lambesis and Slaughter to Prevail for some motive… Lastly, he’ll purchase something with a sizzling chick on the quilt or within the music video, so naturally he’s an enormous Mötley Crüe fan — at the least these guys may in all probability seize a lady by the pussy again within the day and get away with it.
Joe Biden
We’d wish to say we all know what bands present president Joe Biden likes, however it’s all a little bit blurry. We all know he solely likes tremendous outdated bands and he can’t be bothered to maintain up with trendy steel in any respect. While you ask him, he begins buzzing a tune or rattling off half forgotten lyrics. He continuously launches into long-winded diatribes about how reveals aren’t what they was earlier than in the end trailing off, by no means ending the story.
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